Confidence Isn't Magic- It's a Daily Habit

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Let’s be real—confidence isn’t some magical personality trait reserved for the lucky ones. It’s a daily practice, a set of small intentional choices that slowly but powerfully shape our subconscious and how we show up in the world. Our belief systems are rooted in our subconscious. Changing these belief systems, starting with the way we speak to ourselves, will break the undermining script that our subconscious believes. If you’ve ever looked at someone and thought, “I wish I had her confidence,” remember this: she probably built it—step by step, just like you can.

Confidence starts with the little things, like keeping promises to yourself. When you follow through—on your goals, your boundaries, even your morning routine—you tell your brain, “I can trust myself to do what I say I’m going to do.” That’s powerful. Your body and emotions send signals to your brain when you complete a task you told yourself you would finish. Fitness and moving our body is probably one of the hardest tasks to complete because we let our mood, weather and circumstances get in the way of keeping that consistency with ourselves. So the next time you feel like canceling your workout or not reading a chapter in the book you started, remember that even 10 minutes of progress is sending a positive signal to your brain indicating you kept your promise to yourself and you are putting yourself first, instead of the opposite signal when you don’t show up for yourself and that is what keeps you in your comfort zone.

Something we can all agree on are those negative thoughts that pop up like “I can’t do this” or “I’m not good enough”- That is our inner voice and it is fed by our subconscious programming. We become what we repeatedly hear, and that includes our inner dialogue. So instead of picking yourself apart, try speaking to yourself with the same kindness and respect you give others. Look in the mirror and say one thing you admire about yourself. It might feel awkward at first, but keep doing it. After I gave birth to my second son, the post-partum hair loss was in full effect. Every time I would take a shower, huge hand fulls of hair would clog my shower drain, instead of complaining about my hair loss and feeling sorry for myself, I focused on a healthy hair routine which included diet and supplements but I also would speak positive affirmations out loud to myself every time I washed my hair or styled it in the mirror. I could’ve fixated on the hair loss but instead I chose to embrace it and speak kindly to myself during this time of so much transition and change. This simple act of changing the dialogue about my hair loss my inner voice was having from negative to positive, taught me that I control the voice in my head and I always want to hear positivity from her, not what I can’t do but what I CAN and WILL do.

Another key to growing confidence is stretching beyond your comfort zone—daily. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. Maybe it’s trying a new hobby, starting that side hustle you day dream about or simply just saying no to someone without overexplaining. These micro-moments of bravery stack up, our subconscious is designed to keep us safe and it may trigger self-doubt to stop you from taking risks even if those risks are part of growth to build your confidence. And while we’re at it: celebrate your wins. Out loud. Write them down. Tell a friend. Don’t minimize them or brush past them. When you give yourself credit and let yourself shine, your confidence gets louder.

Even your body can help your mindset catch up. Ever heard of power posture? It’s real. Shoulders back, head high, deep breath. How you carry yourself tells your brain, “We’ve got this.” Try it before a meeting, a big event, or even a tough conversation. Preparation also plays a role. Confidence isn’t just energy—it’s clarity. When you take the time to prepare, you quiet the noise of doubt and show up with purpose. Know your stuff, own your voice, and walk in ready. Whether it’s a business meeting, a coffee or dinner with a friend or a teacher/parent conference- I always prepare and envision what the conversation will be like, what questions do I need to ask, is there something I need to research more about before etc. because when you don’t prepare, you’re lost and confused, but when you DO prepare, you’re confidence speaks volumes.

And let’s not forget this truth: comparison kills confidence. If scrolling social media makes you question your lane, unfollow. You don’t need to see someone else’s highlight reel to know your journey is unfolding exactly as it should. It’s one of the reasons why I’m so passionate about Amigas Mia’s, because I want to have real conversations around real life- what you see on social media is not real life and I hope I can bring more resources and thoughtful conversations to our community so instead of comparing ourselves to each other, we are supporting and uplifting one another.

Lastly, surround yourself with the right people who remind you of your power. The right friends will hold up the mirror for you when you forget who you are. Text that friend. Share a small win. Let yourself be celebrated. You don’t need to be fearless to be confident—you just need to keep showing up, even when you’re unsure. Because real confidence isn’t about always knowing what to do. It’s about knowing no one is coming to save you and you have to start doing the work for YOU. Your subconscious is the engine behind your confidence, reprogram it with intention, and your outer confidence will shine!

Keep going. We’re all doing better than we think💖

Besos, Jenn💋

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