5 Ways To Finally Stop Self-Sabotaging

Have you ever wanted something with your whole heart… a new job, a healthy relationship, a big lifestyle change—and somehow, even though you knew what to do, you just didn’t do it? Yeah. That’s self-sabotage. And well, it’s sneakier than you think. Today, I’m giving you 5 real ways to break that cycle—because your future self is tired of you getting in your own way.

 ✨ TIP #1: 

Catch the Pattern

Do you tell yourself on Monday that you will eat clean that week and come lunch time you eat whatever is easiest or you don’t feel like cooking for dinner and eat fast food because it’s quick? Setting yourself up for success starts with preparing, when you prepare your chances of self-sabotaging are less than when you don’t prepare. Ask yourself what is making you not follow through with your goals? Is it because on Sunday instead of resetting and preparing for the week, you went to a boozy brunch and woke up hungover? (speaking from experience) Catch the pattern and change it before you keep sabotaging your goals and your nervous system.

 ✨ TIP #2: 

Stop Shaming Yourself

You missed a workout? Sent the email late? Got sloppy drunk? That doesn’t mean you’re lazy, incapable, or “not serious.” It just means you’re human. The danger isn’t in messing up—it’s in attaching shame to it and punishing yourself. The worse you make yourself feel, the more you’re training your brain to hate yourself instead of speaking kindly to yourself. Don’t let one bad day make you think you have a bad life. Shift the story to a positive mindset and tell yourself: “This didn’t go as planned, but I can still start again.” Remember that nothing changes if nothing changes.

✨ TIP #3: 

Set Micro Goals, Not Mega Pressure

We often sabotage ourselves because we overwhelm ourselves. Instead of “I need to change my life,” try: “Today, I’ll move my body for 10 minutes.” Small wins = self-trust. And self-trust kills sabotage because self-trust builds confidence instead. Honestly this is exactly how I live my life, I create goals for myself daily, weekly, monthly, yearly. I like to break them up because not every goal deserves to be in the same time category- fitness, finances, health & wellness all have different timelines and if you break them down into micro goals, you’re training your brain to tell yourself “I can do this” So start small. Show up tiny and build from there.

 ✨ TIP #4: 

Surround Yourself With The Future Version Of You

Remember the journal where I talked about how birds of a feather flock together? Well it’s a scientific fact that the people you surround yourself with have direct impact on your future. Studies from Harvard and Stanford show that humans are wired to conform, so when you’re surrounded by people who play small, stay stuck or sabotage themselves- it’s harder for you to grow. But when your circle is growth-oriented, supportive and aligned with your future- you naturally rise with them, it’s not luck it’s science. Do you want to make your health & wellness a priority? Don’t hang out with friends who are partying every weekend, take up a new hobby instead so you’re busy the next time they ask you to hang out. Do you have a financial goal you want to hit this year? Stop saying yes to every birthday dinner or night out you get invited to, invite your friends over instead for a girls night in. Do you want to be more positive and avoid drama? Change the conversation with that negative family member or co-worker who loves to gossip about other people. Yes it’s tough to hear, but you choose the people who surround you and you are self-sabotaging by not choosing carefully the circle you keep. That co-worker you admire because she left a toxic relationship and you wish you could do the same? Set up a coffee with her. That friend that just purchased her first home and that’s your goal, text and ask what helped her reach that goal. The entrepreneur that quit their job and started a business, DM them and get some advice over dinner. Habits, mindset and lifestyle choices are contagious, that’s why the circle you keep is the blueprint to your future. 

✨ TIP #5: 

Visualize the You Who Didn’t Quit

This is my favorite. Take 30 seconds every day to visualize the version of you who DIDN’T sabotage herself this time. What did she say yes to? What habits did she commit to? How does she walk into a room? This version of YOU is strong and empowered, she’s fearless and confident, this version is the one that you need to remember when you’re sabotaging and doubting yourself. You’ve been here before, you’ve done this, you’ve been through worse and you’re still here, be proud and know that visualizing that version of you everyday is training your subconscious and showing it what’s possible.

Self-sabotage is just a protection mechanism—it’s your brain trying to keep you safe in the comfort zone. But you? You’re not made for comfort. You’re made for growth. You’re made to dream BIG and accomplish those dreams.

This week, I want you to do one thing your future self will thank you for—and I’d love to hear what it is. Send us a DM and we’ll share a few anonymously on our stories. And if this episode made you feel seen, do me a favor—share it with an amiga who needs this reminder too because we win when we uplift each other.

Besos, Jenn💋