4 Unfiltered Ways to Becoming Who You've Always Needed

Lately, I’ve been redefining what self-love really means to me. For a long time, I thought it was treating myself to nice things—designer handbags, vacations, expensive skincare routines etc. And while those things feel good and I appreciate them, I’ve realized they aren’t the core of what self-love truly is. Self-love is actually the hard stuff. It’s saying no when something doesn’t feel aligned, even if it disappoints the people closest to you because you’re choosing YOU. It’s choosing rest over hustle, even when my mind tells me I’m “falling behind.” It’s holding myself to a higher standard and being an example of what it means to love yourself, when everyone around me is self-destructing. Making the conscious decision that I am enough and I deserve to live like it.

It’s been a journey, of becoming the person I needed when I was younger. That version of me didn’t need a Chanel bag—she needed safety, honesty, consistency, and love that didn’t come with conditions. She needed someone to tell her that she was enough, that she mattered, that her emotions and feelings weren’t “too much”, that her honesty and sincerity is actually her super power, that loving hard and wearing her heart on her sleeve is admirable, that crying and letting her emotions out was healing and not a weakness. That is what I’m giving her now. So today I’m sharing 4 ways on how to become that person you’ve always needed because she’s in there, you just have to take action.

1. Set Boundaries Without Guilt🌸

Loving yourself means protecting your time, energy, and peace. Say no when you need to, without over-explaining. If you bend to keep them comfortable, you’ll break trying to feel worthy. You don’t owe softness to people who thrive off your silence, every time you speak up for yourself, you’re reminding yourself that you don’t need anyone to speak up for you or protect you, you speak up for you.

2. Speak Kindly to Yourself🌷

Your inner voice is your first home. Replace harsh self-criticism with compassion. Instead of “I’m so stupid,” try “I’m learning.” How you speak to yourself sets the tone for how you let others treat you. Stop commenting negatively on your looks “I’ve gained so much weight” instead try “I've been focused on other priorities in my life but I will start to move my body every day for at least 30 minutes” if we train our subconscious to know that we just took some time off from our goals but we will be back, in turn it will keep reminding us to start instead of shaming us.

3. Keep the Promises You Make to Yourself⭐️

Whether it’s waking up earlier, making it to that workout class, or following through on a goal—self-trust is built by showing up for you. Your confidence grows when your actions match your intentions, so stop saying what you’re going to do and just go do it. A successful life is built by a series of actions, not by empty promises that don’t mean anything.

4. Forgive Yourself For The Past 🌺

You can’t fully love yourself while carrying shame from who you used to be. Did you know that shame and guilt are the lowest vibrational emotions? That means that while you’re in this vibrational state, you attract everything around you that’s in its lowest vibrational state as well. Self-love means forgiving yourself for what you didn’t know then, and allowing yourself to grow without judgement now.

I try to constantly remind myself that I’m worthy as I am, I’m rewriting my story, my past doesn’t define me, I’ve learned, grown and moved on. Now I’m choosing me, not just in words, but in action. And that’s the most powerful love of all.

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Besos, Jenn💋